we’ve hit 44 days ladies & gentleman :)
since i only have 45 days left of probation, i couldn’t help but switch my username back to ‘blitzedbarbie’.
this may sound silly, but i seriously cannnnnot wait to enter stoner mode again, to be my old goofy self instead of this constantly depressed and confused sober sally.
i hate alcohol & alcohol hates me. but since i started probation about 5 months ago i started drinking more and more, because of random drug testing. smoking weed wasn’t worth violating probation. so i quit.
what i didn’t realize is that drinking on a daily basis is muchhh worse than smoking on a daily basis. when i was smoking weed i was always so happy, funny, and friendly. i was constantly smiling and being generous to everybody around me. when i drink, i get mean and nasty. the smallest thing somebody says or does will trigger something subconsciously and will make me sad or remember events from my past that would make me so upset that i just wanted to be alone. alcohol made me lash out on the people i love and honestly, made me push them away.
ALCOHOL HAS RUINED MY LIFE.
but i truly do miss my one and only, Mary Jane. i can’t wait to be reuinited with you once again <3
the day i can smoke weed again will be the day i quit smoking cigarettes and will not feel the need to drink anymore.
It’s not fair.